Dance with fear

I have so much to say about fear, that I don’t even know where to start…I’ll start in your face.

Fear is a clue.

A clue to deal with something you neglected to look into. Fear comes in many forms. It can be procrastination, it can even be perfectionism.

For years I thought my perfectionism is something to be proud of until I came across the ingenious work of Dr Rene Brown. She says it best in this quote:

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.”

I had no more excuses. No more of the suffering artist syndrome mask. I just feared people not liking my stuff. Which would have led them to not like me. Which would lead to…death? That’s actually the most common fear. Only it’s connected to our reptilian brain and thus a great survival mechanism.
When you have to outrun a tiger. Not so much when you present an art project in front of your classmates and later a design concept to your clients.

So I am more relaxed about it now.
Just kidding.
I still cringe at criticism, but I know my inner daemons and so it’s not as scary as it was to my younger self. Fear is boring, said the very wise and amazing Elizabeth Gilbert .

Fear can stop you doing awesome amazing things no one else could do, but you.

And what about putting aside things and procrastinating? That’s a huge massive fear light bulb. How many times do we put off making a call, or leaving a job, or starting a project?
We tell ourselves to do it later and we find lot’s of time sucking activities to just not do what we know we must.

All I’m saying is to pay attention to the whispers of fear, because when they start shouting, it’s not pleasant.

So look your fear in the eyes…

And do the dance.